Settling comes after change, ready or not. And so it has been- and continues to be- after moving late last year from Costa Rica in Central America to Louisiana.
The “change”- the decision to sell Acropolita, the beloved mountainside property that I helped develop and then landscaped totally on my own- was definitely “forced.”A trusted partner shocked me with his infidelity and fiscal dishonesty. Though selling the placed I loved was devastating, there was no acceptable alternative.
Acropolita was sold in late summer of 2009, and the sale brought brought more forced change and serious physical consequences. Not wanting to leave Acropolita, not wanting to re-establish US residency, and (most of all) not wanting the hassle of deciding where to establish that residency put me on an emotional roller coaster ride that carried me so far and so fast that my blood pressure soared, my energy nosedived, and my stomach erupted with ulcers.
Doctors delivered dire warnings. Eliminate stress and “settle” or …
Listening to a parade of specialists give their respective diagnosis was scary- very scary- but hearing one after another specialist warn me that my conditions were “life threatening” got my full attention.
Dying does not frighten me, largely because I have had five episodes of what is commonly called “near death’ experiences. But the warning that I might die was the last one each of my specialists gave to me. “Stroke” was the first. “Heart Attach” was the second. And I wanted noting to do with either of those physical calamities.
And that brought me nose-to-now and toe-to-toe with the need to “settle.” And wouldn’t you know it, there is not one book either in the library or on line that explains the Step-by-Step process of “settling.” A return visit to each of my doctors provided me with nothing more than head shakes and ramblings about “proper” diet and exercise. Not one of those medicine men, despite their “specialist” positions, could describe a “proper” diet or course of exercise for me.
That means I must learn to “settle” on my own. Learning on my own is sure to involve lots and lots of false starts, failures, and frustrations. But I fully intend to “grope” my way into a “settled” state of being.
Learning how to achieve a “settled state” of being will, I fear, involved a lot of false starts.